Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
