You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
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