Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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