We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
