This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
