I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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