omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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