Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
