Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We don't watch enough power rangers
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
