my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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