i just identified you from a description of your pipe
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize