My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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