One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
