..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
