just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize