I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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