Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
