fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize