I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
