exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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