erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
