We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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