Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
