Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
the room spins SO much faster in panama
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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