why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
