Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
