i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
