Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
