Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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