i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize