another moral hangover. fuck.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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