I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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