THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
