Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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