i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
