she woke up with a sticky ear
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
