I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
