Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
