i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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