if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
