I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
