you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
