well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize