ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
