On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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