The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
