You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
