I wish I could punch you in the face.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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