For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I'm bleeding and have questions
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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