My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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