i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Dignity is for republicans.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
