I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
