i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
