i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
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