I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
