the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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