You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
