Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
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A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
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i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
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