bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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