I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
