try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
